The Subtle Secret of Lasting Longer In Bed – Part 2

Mon, 02/20/2012 - 22:44 -- amber

If you already know about ejaculation reflex and the incredible advantages you could obtain by controlling it, it's time to learn how to do it.

There are two commonly taught methods to become multi-orgasmic by controlling the ejaculatory reflex. We will outline the two of them here, because they both have been proven to work for several men, but it is always a personal choice to decide which one suits you best.

The one thing both methods have in common

Before we get into details, there is a very basic muscle you have to train thoroughly before starting the exercises that will teach you to control ejaculatory reflex. It is called the Pubococcigean Muscle, although it is most often referred to simply as PC muscle. It is located about halfway between your anus and the base of your testicles. The faster way to knowing its exact location is to search for the point while you simulate to be holding your urine. You will notice a clear contraction on the spot where the PC muscle acts when you are trying to stop yourself from urinating (if you were having a hard time find it, you could wait to experience an actual urge to go to the restroom and give it a try at that moment).

Once you have full conscience of where your PC muscle is, you need to start practicing so you can contract it at will without moving other muscles at the same time (most men involuntarily contract legs, bottom of belly muscles as well when they are starting). It is important that you know exactly how to contract it to do push-ups effectively. It's very simple once you have picked the trick to only contract your PC muscle: just hold and release completing 10-times series; do it 3 or 4 times a day while you are starting, and then you can increase gradually until you complete 8 series daily. Remember to distribute the exercises throughout the whole day. You just need to remember and you'll be able to do them anywhere as long as you are seated. While you are travelling to work, during a meeting, at lunchtime… you have as much options as you can think of.

Strengthening your PC muscle will be great for you even if you do not successfully complete the training to become multi-orgasmic; by doing these simple push-ups you will manage to maintain longer and harder erections, experience more intense orgasms, and moderately increase the time you last in bed.

The “western” method

The objective here is to use your strengthened PC muscle to stop your ejaculatory reflex exactly on time to experience orgasm without losing you erection. This can take several months as it is really difficult to catch the precise instant at which the reflex takes place.

The first thing you need to do is to experience longer masturbation sessions so you can identify your levels of arousal (your partner could help in this part, but we'll approach it in individual terms since it's usually simpler like that). Usually a scale from 1 to 10 works fine: fix the 1 as a moment where you are not excited at all, perhaps washing your car or buying groceries. Think 2 as the moment when you see a girl wearing a hot outfit down the street. A 4 can be when you are kissing someone calmly. A 5 maybe a passionate kiss, a 7 may involve already genital stimulation. At 9 your penis is completely hardened and you are experiencing great pleasure, but ejaculation is not a threat yet. At 9.5 you can feel the Point of No Return is nearby. If you manage to identify a 9.9 you'll be able to contract firmly your PC muscle at that time and stop ejaculation.

The best way to achieve this is by playing high and low. Carry your excitement up to a 4, then let yourself go back to a 2. Spend a lot of time playing with 4 before reaching a 6 and dropping down again. It might be boring initially, and you have to be patience and take enough time to do this. It you rush yourself you'll lose any hint of excitement and you'll have to stimulate intensely to maintain your erection. This is not what we want: we need steady but gradual masturbation, with your mind well focused.

If you really take it one step at a time (this involves several weeks of practice during which you'll be jumping irregularly from a 7 right into ejaculation, so don't feel bad about all the times you are going to orgasm regularly in the process), there will come a moment when you are able to reach a 9.5, drop to a 9, and go up again, in such a controlled manner that you can spend several minutes between the two marks. When you have such a delicate control of your arousal, it's time to increase stimulation just a bit so you can play beyond 9.5, and at this point you'll be able to feel more subtle signs that ejaculatory reflex is approaching. This is the time for giving your PC muscle a good push: it can get you from close to 9.9 back down to 9.5; it is a really tricky learning process and even at this stage you may spend several weekends reaching all the way to ejaculatory orgasm. But you shouldn't perceive this as a failure: simply enjoy them as regular masturbation sessions.

The day will come in which you learn to contract your PC muscle at exactly 9.9, and then you will experience a series of orgams-like movements shaking your groin, without ejaculation taking place. With enough practice you'll have stronger orgasmic movements each time you reach 9.9 and you'll be able to take your learning into bed, so you can enjoy really a long and really satisfactory intercourse with your partner.

If you want to learn some extra hints that come along with the second method, please read The Subtle Secret of Lasting Longer In Bed – Part 3

Previous article in the series: The subtle secret of lasting longer in bed – Part 1

amber's picture
Amber Hoffman

I am writer and editor at Bedroom Stories online magazine, writing about sexual relationships and better understanding our lives. Feel free to contact me at [email protected]