The Fine Art of Self Pleasuring

Wed, 05/16/2012 - 10:03 -- jcartwright

God’s first gift to man was a penis and then hands long enough to stroke it with. Women and wine came somewhere afterword along the line and neither were really as nice as the first.

Women are treacherous and wine is expensive (though that sentence would work nicely reversed too). No, the universe saw that man was a bored animal, often too dim for his counterpart and frequently to poor for a drink and so, in goodness and mercy, it gave him a constant means of entertainment, thus that even the lowliest among his race would not lack for something to do on cold and lonely evenings… or mornings, afternoons, breaks and teatimes.

Sources of Pleasure

So besides the obvious one two stroke, up down up down, what else is there?

• Stroke the perineum! The small space between your scrotum and your anus. Many men find this to be a source of orgasm enhancement when they feel themselves about to cum.

• Fondling your balls offers its own pleasant sensations and many men like to do this simultaneously with a basic up down stroke.

• Get slap happy. Slapping your penis between your hands or against your stomach is a popular technique which some men prefer in general to the basic up down stroke.

• Anal play. Yep, mess with your butt. In fact, stroking of the anus is one of the most common behaviours while masturbating. This is not without reason. The anus is a highly sensitive area that offers plenty of possibility for pleasure.

More Advanced Techniques

• Stop and go. Stroke yourself till you’re at the point of cumming, just on the edge, then let off and fondle your balls. Do this again. And again. Do this until you literally can’t take it anymore and you can’t stop yourself from cumming. This technique promises a pretty impressive orgasm. Incidentally, this technique builds stamina too.

• Prostate. The prostate gland is located just behind the wall of the rectum about an inch or so in. Stimulating it through the wall of the rectum can cause sensations of intense pleasure. A variety of items are sold specifically for this purpose. You can also stimulate it with your finger. A slow circular motion is recommended. You shouldn’t have much trouble finding it if you look…

• You can actually stop yourself from cumming by applying pressure at the base of your penis with your finger. When you feel yourself about to blow, place a finger in the space between your scrotum and your shaft and press down. This actually cuts of the delivery system between your testes and your penis. Essentially this is what a cock ring does too.

Other Kinky Ideas

The whole glory of self-pleasure is that it’s all up to you. Explore and discover what you like. Some people find it a turn on to masturbate in places where they might get caught. Many men enjoy mutual masturbation, or, circle jerking. Pro tip: find some good porn. This always heightens the experience.

jcartwright's picture
James Cartwright

Just like to write about sex and relationships!