Sexual Fantasy Role Playing

Sat, 06/30/2012 - 12:29 -- kylerichtig

Have a sexual partner that has become routine? Find yourself in the middle of sex and thinking of other things?

You might not be the only one. If you are not talking about the lack of excitement, the same may be true for your partner. A boring sexual partner can be remodeled. Do not focus on what the problem is, but how to fix it.

Figure out what you like

Before discussing it with your partner, think of other sexual experiences you have had, fantasies and fetishes. Perhaps you had a partner that was able to get you off by entering the room. Why? Was it because they were better in bed, or was it something else that turned you on about them.

Discuss it

Do you have an open sexual dialogue with your partner? If you do not, you may wish to change that first, and decide on where to go next. If you do have an open dialogue, make sure that neither side feels judged. If you do not have an open dialogue move to the next step.

Make a plan

Decide on the scope of the role-play, but try not to "script" it. Incorporating elements from both sides, (i.e. naughty nurse meets police officer), will add excitement for both partners. For some people the where is more important than who they will be encountering. If you are going solo through the planning stage, try to appeal to your partner's fantasies and fetishes. It will result in more encounters.

Use different names

Change your names when assuming your fantasy characters. This will allow you to do things that you may not do as yourself. The added benefit is the common language this creates. Calling your partner by their fantasy name at unsuspected times (in public, or at home), to add suspense and surprise.

Mix it up

Do not let your role play become your next routine. If dissociation becomes your intimate norm, it may push you apart more. Make it a treat. If there is only one scenario that works for both parties, use it sparingly. You can always revisit the game plan at a different time. Role-playing is not going to fix every relationship. In fact, you may just start claiming to have fantasies to see what you can get your partner to do. The worst thing you can do to your partner is judge them for their fantasies. Sexual fantasies are often about becoming someone different than your normal self.

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Kyle Richtig

Kyle Richtig is a Canadian writer of foundry pushing poetry and fiction. He is certified in personality assessment and sees sex as an endless buffet of options. Check out more about his projects at kylerichtig.com