Getting back to the basics

Sun, 04/22/2012 - 18:22 -- amber

For how long have you been having sex? Are you sure you started off on the right foot? Here´s a revision of the basic guidelines for you to crosscheck with the experience you´ve collected along the way.

Your performance as a lover is something that feeds on its own success. Men that can never leave behind their fear of failure are usually the ones that do not take advantage of the natural learning curve toward becoming great in bed. Of course, confidence is not a synonym for stubbornness, but rather means that you can´t be afraid of listening to other´s advice (especially your own partner´s) and also that you need to keep your mind open to the possibility of improvement.

Maybe when you hear about expert sex, the words Kama Sutra and athletic bodies come to your mind, but the actual meaning of it is quite different: it´s about knowing all the core necessities of your partner to get aroused and reach climax, and be confident enough to always try variations and surprise her. Thus, in your way to getting to fully know your partner´s basic sexual choices, there´s a couple of generalities that might be of help.

Women are never predictable

Well, outside bed that´s still a discussion; some will say that you can seduce any woman without their responses varying at all, but you can´t believe everything they tell you. What we can assure you is female predictability in bed definitely doesn´t exist: the same caress that last week might have driven her by itself right into orgasm can result much less satisfactory today. You must always listen and feel the signs her body can convey to you, changing every second: if her breathing fastens, or his muscles tighten, then you know you got to keep on touching whatever is it you were touching in the appropriate way.

Women also expect feedback

In the last point, we advised you to learn how to read the signs of her body. However, this is not always possible: trying completely new moves, or touching areas with mixed sensitivity, can make you feel uncertain whether she is enjoying herself or not. In these cases, the right thing to do is speaking up your mind with a question. Women, on the other hand, tend to ask questions more often, but sometimes they already know the answer: if she whispers in a suffocated voice, do you like that?, then it´s probably a mere strategy to get you even more excited. However, if you seem unresponsive to her stimulation, she might not even feel confident at all to ask you for real about your preferences; make sure you moan, or sigh pleasurably, or give away any other sign that can confirm her she´s taking you to hot places. It will kind of set up a growing cycle of turn-ons between you both, if you are open about the things that really sex up your bodies.

If you´ve got her really excited…

It´s not time for intercourse yet. This might seem surprising, but if you want to give your girl a mesmerizing experience, the moment when her whole body is steamy, her breathing is shaky and her eyes tell you she wants to be penetrated, that´s the exactly the moment when you should dive into her vulva to start giving her oral stimulation. Her genitals will be so receptive to the movements of your mouth by this point, that you are likely to help her reach a couple of orgasms before it´s time to get inside her, and then she´ll keep just the best memories of your penis rounding up the whole experience with a final, more intimate orgasm.

amber's picture
Amber Hoffman

I am writer and editor at Bedroom Stories online magazine, writing about sexual relationships and better understanding our lives. Feel free to contact me at [email protected]