Does Your Sex Style Match Your Partner?

Sun, 07/08/2012 - 13:52 -- kylerichtig

Everyone has a different idea of what sex is, where it should happen, and how often. A sexual relationship is the process of learning each other's styles, and if committed, making sure both get what they are after.

Two different sexual styles can work well together as long as there is compromise.

The intimate lover

This lover views sex as defined in a romantic movie. They desire long kisses, soft caresses and passion. These lovers have a tendency to dislike dirty talk, or any talking whatsoever during sex. Partners of intimate lovers do not need to do all the work, however, the intimate lover will not finish himself or herself off. It defeats the purpose of having a partner. Intimate lovers are triggered by sensation. Have a regular playlist or scent used during sex.

The lazy bottom

The lazy bottom does the least in sex. They get their name from their tendency to wait for sex to happen to them. Not all lazy bottoms start out that way. This effect can present when one partner has a higher libido than the other. The partner with the lower libido will submit to their partners' advances even when they are not especially aroused themselves.

The individualist

An individualist lover is most interested in his or her own orgasm. They engage in sexual behaviours with partners, but only for as long as it takes for them to reach orgasm. Mutual masturbation is a favourite of the individualist who prefers to be able to stimulate themselves and another at the same time. The individualist is willing to do more to please you; you just have to tell them.

The improviser

Perhaps the most fun loving of the sex styles, the improviser is up for anything. Improvisers will revel in new positions and exciting places to have sex. Improvisers also like to laugh, talk dirty and be absurd during sex. Improvisers are least compatible with intimate lovers who will have low tolerance for their shenanigans. Keep them interested by catching them off guard.

Finding a partner of the same sex style may seem like the best course of action. While they may be able to match exactly what you want, the longevity of such a relationship is questionable. All styles have the ability to be flexible and accommodate others' needs. Keep an open dialogue with a sexual partner of a different style, and watch the chemistry grow!

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Kyle Richtig

Kyle Richtig is a Canadian writer of foundry pushing poetry and fiction. He is certified in personality assessment and sees sex as an endless buffet of options. Check out more about his projects at