6 Embarrassing Sex Mishaps To Avoid

Mon, 08/20/2012 - 18:29 -- zena

Remember the first time you had sex with someone and you ended up making a fool of yourself? Remember giggling so much as your partner was doing their best to seduce you and yet you end up not being aroused and seduced but rather feeling silly? How about the time when you wanted to French Kiss your partner for the first time and instead of feeling ecstasy, you end up feeling the opposite? Well, tough luck! Not everybody starts at something as a professional. Years of practice is needed to become one. So before you die of embarrassment as you try to recall all the sex mishaps that you had in the past, why not try to concentrate on what you can do now to avoid them and these things from happening. I am sure this list will be able to save you once the need arises.

Scenario 1 (for Men)

You're lying on the bed with your partner. You are both cuddling, fondling and kissing each other under the sheets when all of a sudden, you break wind. Your partner stares at you. Her face not giving away anything. You blush uncontrollably. You realize you cannot just continue what you were doing and there is a long moment of silence between you. Awkward isn't it?

Scenario 2 (for Women)

You feel aroused as he continues to caress you, kiss you and fondle you under the sheets. Then, all of a sudden, your breathlessness and the gentle moans is mixed with the sound of you breaking wind. Your eyes widen when you realize what you have done. Leaving your partner torn between looking mortified and looking like he would laugh his head off. Embarrassing right?

Well, if this is the first time it has happened and that the two of you are new together then this is fine. Your partner may or may not like it but in the end, it will be more of a hilarious experience than a really horrible one. Meanwhile, if you have been together for a long time then this has probably happened more than once thus, it doesn't bother either of you anymore. Playing along will be easier as either one of you or both of you might initiate either tickling each other, teasing each other or perhaps even pulling up the sheets for your partner to smell the mess that you have made. Anger will be the first impression of anyone who gets to be in this situation then comes, disgust but both can be diffused by laughter so be the joker and just make a fool out of yourself. It would make a good story later on.

Scenario 3

You have just asked your partner to do extreme sexual moves when you are still at an early stage of your relationship. Certainly, right now is not the proper time to go anal or to bring out your Kama Sutra to try the hardest positions in the book with your partner. There are two things that might happen with that. Scare the hell out of your partner or excite your partner to the promise of new possibilities with you. Let's hope you get the latter. Perhaps you have asked your partner to have a little kinky game with you in bed. You ask your partner to dress up and pretend. Role playing might be a little early to do but of course this depends on your partner as well. Always remember that when you have crossed an imaginary line in your partner's mind, make up for it. Be considerate. Ask your partners thoughts and opinions then vote on it. I think that would result to a more conducive environment and thus making it much easier to develop a sensual tension between you and your partner. Apologizing for the mistake you made might be the best thing to do initially. I am sure you won't have a bad start from there.

Scenario 4

You want to talk dirty to your partner because you know it works but what is dirty to you doesn't really mean dirty to your partner. What happens when dirty talk goes wrong? Well, doing your best impersonation of the sexiest male or female that you know while trying to talk dirty to your partner, won't really get you anywhere. It might work at times but not always. I think more females are successful with this trick but men just find it more difficult. Of course, you already wanted the spotlight to be on you by volunteering to be the star of the night but then again, you can always change that. By acting silly and telling your partner that he/she should do their best impersonation as well, they would think that this is a game and that you are being playful. Actually, the goal here is for you not to be the deer caught in headlights. That way, after your partner is done being silly, you can both laugh about it and move on to something more serious which is doing the dirty deed.

Scenario 5

When you decide to do foreplay with your partner in the dark and then, you end up having a bloody lip, end up bruising yourself or falling out of the bed then why did you have that kind of idea to begin with anyway? Well, pain and pleasure can only mix in a BDSM set up but if you are more into vanilla relationships then what the heck where you thinking? Good thing, humor can pretty much be a cure for almost everything. We are all human after all. We make mistakes. Giving ourselves a break and being so hard on ourselves can help this situation. It will not only make your partner respect you for not showing that you are invincible all the time, it will also show how playful you are and what a great sense of humor you have.

Scenario 6

You start doing foreplay and suddenly when you are in the throes of ecstasy, you call your partner with a different name. This is probably one of the worst sex mishaps ever! If you and your partner are not role playing when this happened then you have no excuse for calling him/her a different name. Nothing that you say will probably make you get the same person in bed again. If it was purely accidental, you might still have a shot but then again, timing is always everything if you are to diffuse your partner's anger. Honestly, this is probably one of the hardest situations to get out off but as they say, necessity is the mother of invention. If you call your partner with several different names after that, your partner might think that you have already slept with all those people and would end up not wanting to see you again or if you get lucky and your partner does by your excuse then, good for you. Although as I have said, I highly doubt that. But just like what they always say, embarrassing situations are better diffused with positivity. Optimism is the key. React badly then, you will just dig yourself a bigger grave. Always remember to be quick on your feet in order to have a speedy recovery once you are in such situations.

Mishaps happen to everyone. Although some encounter more than others. Sex mishaps happen every now and then but we all have the power to prevent them from happening. With a positive attitude, we can conquer such embarrassing situations. Letting yourself be the butt of your own joke might just work. Who knew it could be so useful?

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Zena Alethea Teofilo

Zena is an online English teacher. She enjoys writing and drawing during her free time. She writes many different articles and stories every day. Some are erotic in nature while others are informative. Writing for this website has opened her to a new world of possibilities. She is happy to share her thoughts and opinions about many things in life. She just hopes that many people are satisfied with her work for she aims to please.