Ways to Ruin Love during the Holidays

Fri, 12/28/2012 - 00:26 -- zena

Love should be in the air every holiday season but did you know that there are some ways to actually ruin love during the holidays? If you aren't aware of them then here's how.

Focusing on romantic relationships that you don't have isn't exactly ideal. Don't think about your world to be incomplete which is why you want someone to be with you. Honestly, women who can't be happy while they are single are typically not comfortable with themselves. When you are happy with yourself then you won't need someone to make your holidays complete. The problem with trying to find love outside of ourselves is that we become dependent on other people to feel better about ourselves. Never let other people have the power over you. This holiday season, enjoy yourself whole heartedly. Don't fake it because you are the one who might just miss out. Besides Christmas isn't exactly a holiday for sadness but for happiness so be happy for once and just be yourself. Invest in the people that love you like your friends and family. They deserve your attention especially this holiday season. Intimacy is not romance. While people continue to misunderstand both words, most people should know how different they are. Intimacy is the result of opening up to others and being known for who you are. Focusing on people who you can be yourself with during this holiday season will make you happier and will set you free.

Setting unrealistic expectations is definitely a holiday relationship killer. If you want to set goals for you and your partner, aim for goals that can be done realistically. Do not create goals that are impossible to achieve. If things don't happen according to plan, do you consider yourself a failure? Of course, you shouldn't. Why? Expectations need to be adjusted sometimes, too. If you become too uptight with your expectations then things will just get harder for you romantically. Sometimes to make setting goals right, you should start within yourself. Being able to set goals that you can achieve within the time frame that you have allowed yourself into is a good start. From there, you can already create goals for you and your partner. Let him/ her in on the whole goal planning. Remember that in relationships, it needs to be a combined effort and not a sole effort only.

Sex first - love later. Do not let yourself fall under this trap. If you are single and would like a partner for the holidays, it is fine to start with the whole kissing under the mistletoe thing but then again that doesn't mean you should let sex follow that. Ultimately, you don't think anyone would respect you and want to be with you especially after you offer yourself up for one night stands. They are called one night stands for a reason. Although there are a few people who actually become more than that in the long run, most don't go anywhere. One-night stands have expiration dates because they are flings. They come and go. If you really want a relationship this holiday, find love first and then have sex later. In fact, sex should never be your top priority. Wanting sex and wanting love are two different things. Be aware of the difference. If your intention is to have sex then just do it. Don't misconstrue it and think that there might be something more to it. Don't get twisted or you'll mess up your holiday with definite unnecessary drama. Be smarter in relationships and you will be happier.

On a final note, we should all remember that love is everywhere. We just need to know that it is present. Christmas should be a time to be jolly. Don't let anything ruin it. If you will truly be blessed to have a romantic Christmas so be it. But if you really can't then don't force it. There is nothing worse than a ruined holiday than a forced Christmas fling. Think about it.

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Zena Alethea Teofilo

Zena is an online English teacher. She enjoys writing and drawing during her free time. She writes many different articles and stories every day. Some are erotic in nature while others are informative. Writing for this website has opened her to a new world of possibilities. She is happy to share her thoughts and opinions about many things in life. She just hopes that many people are satisfied with her work for she aims to please.