Negotiating a Fuck Buddy Relationship

Negotiating a Fuck Buddy Relationship

Thu, 09/13/2012 - 01:43 -- kylerichtig

The term fuck buddy is simply someone who you have sex with on a regular basis that you do not attach relationship boundaries to. Fuck buddies are generally both single people who are not looking for a relationship, or have previously decided that the person they are sleeping with is not the right person to have a relationship with.

Who wants a fuck buddy?

Only people who are able to separate sex and love are capable of negotiating the landscape of this relationship. Those who connect love and sex will be disappointed when the other does not reciprocate their regard. Before approaching anyone with these terms, have a realistic conversation with yourself about how you have processed sex with others in the past.

Terms

The terms of a fuck buddy relationship are different every time. Some may decide that they have a standing weekly date, or simply drop in when they feel it necessary. These relationships are often kept secret so that both partners can still look for another partner. Either partner may only have one or multiple fuck buddies. The frequency often depends on proximity to each other. If both partners only meet up occasionally, the lax rules of the relationship are enforced by distance. Terms of what to expect from each other must be struck before any actual sex happens.

Unexpected Actions

When one enters into a fuck buddy relationship, regardless of the practical terms created by both parties, one partner may fall in love with the other. If one partner begins to describe or exhibit feelings for the other, the relationship must be re-examined before moving forward. Always be honest and expect honesty. Trying to spare a partner's feelings with the 'maybe' of a relationship is less fair than letting them know it truly will never happen.

Past partners

It is not uncommon for couples that split amicably to continue a sexual relationship after the fact. These relationships generally work really well or do not work at all. The issues are dependent on the closure and expectations of both sides. Be extremely candid when in this form of relationship. Choosing a fuck buddy for yourself requires that you be honest with yourself and your sexual partner. If you choose to continue a sexual relationship with an ex-partner, measure how much of their closure has happened before you continue. Having a fuck buddy relationship is only possible if you can tell your partner the truth, even when it may disappoint them.

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Kyle Richtig

Kyle Richtig is a Canadian writer of foundry pushing poetry and fiction. He is certified in personality assessment and sees sex as an endless buffet of options. Check out more about his projects at kylerichtig.com