Is Porn Cheating?

Thu, 09/13/2012 - 01:11 -- kylerichtig

The debate over pornography as cheating on a partner dates back as far as pornography itself. Both men and women enjoy pornography; however, the taboo still exists.

Why do they use pornography?

If your partner enjoys pornography, it is likely he or she did before they met you. Pornography accompanies masturbation, which means your partner enjoys masturbation. Whether or not that reflects on your relationship can only be measured by your sexual frequency. Talk to your partner about masturbation and what it means to you. You may find that they find it as routine as brushing their teeth.

The pornography that your partner enjoys, may be linked to their sexual fetishes. Perhaps they are very interested in voyeurism. Voyeurism through pornography is much safer and legal than the "peeping tom" scenario. He or she may also enjoy pornographic fantasy, such as bondage or other activities they are not interested in performing in real life. For example, some women enjoy male homosexual pornography, which is not possible for them to participate in.

Self-esteem

Look at your own self-esteem as a colouring of your anger toward your partner's pornography use. Do you believe that your partner uses pornography to find what you are missing? This may say more about you than your partner. Many people who view pornography in a relationship, do so without resentment toward their partner's physical appearance. The use of pornography is not the same as an emotional affair. Ask yourself if you seek emotional stimulation from media, i.e. happiness from music, or crying during a movie. Does this reflect on your relationship with your partner?

Concerns

If your partner is more interested in pornography than you, this may be symptoms of dependency. Excessive pornography use is sometimes a symptom of sexual addiction. If you are concerned about sexual addiction in your partner, speak with them frankly about it. If sexual addiction exists, they may require counseling to get to the root of the matter. Addictions generally have to do with the self, and do not reflect on the individuals they love.

Discuss pornography with your partner to negotiate rules that make both of your comfortable. Consider your partner's view on the matter. They may have a larger sexual appetite than you, and are simply trying to give you a break. If your partner is comfortable, consider watching pornographic videos together. Watching videos together may give you insight into your partner's desires, as well as give you some new ideas. Find a balance that works for both sides.

Kyle Richtig

Kyle Richtig is a Canadian writer of foundry pushing poetry and fiction. He is certified in personality assessment and sees sex as an endless buffet of options. Check out more about his projects at kylerichtig.com

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