How to Incorporate Sex Toys With Your Partner

Sun, 10/13/2013 - 09:44 -- amber

Keeping your sex life fresh and exciting is a dilemma every couple will face at some point (or multiple points). Just like a relationship, sex takes work, creativity and passion. So while you may have started out wild and strong, the winds can eventually die down and it will be up to the two of you to figure out how to make it fun and new again.

While there are lots of ways to reinvent your sex life, one way is to incorporate sex toys. However, this may seem easier said than done. What do you get? How do you use it and how do you get your partner on board? There's lots to be addressed, so use this guide to see how you can introduce sex toys into your bedroom fun.

Take the time to do some preliminary sex toy research before springing the idea on your partner. This will give you the chance to see what kind of toys are out there and what might be the best fit for the two of you. Things like cock rings, vibrators, lube, bondage toys and ben wa balls can be a lot of fun for solo and partner play. While you're researching, think about why you want to try using a toy so that you'll be able to explain it to your partner.

Next, you'll need to find a time that you can actually talk to your partner. You will want to do this on neutral ground, i.e. not during sex, a fight, or even when you're both in bed. Get them when they are relaxed and be sure to let them know that this is not your way of saying they are not enough for you in the bedroom. Remain calm, positive and loving and let them know your reasons for wanting to try sex toys.

If they are on board, great! Don't get upset with them if they aren't. Respect that they may have some preconceived notions or concerns and encourage them to do some research on their own. Bring it up again in a few weeks and see what they say.

If you've succeeded, you'll want to head to the nearest sex toy store or online retailer like Adam and Eve. While you may have done your own research, it's important to pick out a toy together so that you can both feel like you're part of the process. Talk about toys that excite you, scare you and intrigue you. Then pick out one or two you can both agree one. You may even learn a few things about each other in the process.

Talking about and shopping for sex toys may seem like the intimidating part, but trying them can be just as daunting for some too. Don't be ashamed if you're still a little nervous about the idea and don't feel like you have to use it right away. Let your toys sit around your house until you're both ready to use them. Then whip em out, have a glass or two of wine and see what kind of fun you can get into. You may not like it or get the hang of it right away. Just be patient and be sure to give it a few tries before you decide if it's right for you. And even it isn't, there's hundreds of different kinds of toys out there. You and partner can definitely find something that you can both enjoy.

Happy playing!

Presented by Adam and Even

amber's picture
Amber Hoffman

I am writer and editor at Bedroom Stories online magazine, writing about sexual relationships and better understanding our lives. Feel free to contact me at [email protected]