Do's and Don'ts In Having Casual Flings

Wed, 03/27/2013 - 10:40 -- zena

Casual flings are not for everyone but then again, sometimes they are unavoidable. If you end up in a holiday romance or a short-term fling, you should know that there are some definite do's and don'ts which you might want to think about. Situations differ and it is hard to know what the rules are for different situations but then again, some of these will apply no matter what.

DO: Be honest and up front no matter what

Telling your partner that it is a casual fling for you and nothing more will somehow let your partner get a better idea of what he/she is in for. If you are not interested in a long lasting relationship then be sure that your partner understands that from day one. Never assume that your partner knows it. For how can he/she know if you don't say anything about it? Knowing and understanding intentions is a must when it comes to these things. Transparency might be for relationships but then again, it is needed in flings too. Miscommunication or even a failure to communicate effectively might cause problems in the future especially when flings are involved. A partner might end up expecting more than you bargained for and later on, when you already want to end things, you can't because he/she refuses to be left alone. It is better to have everything in the open ahead of time in order to avoid any possible issues that may arise in the future.

Let the relationship take a natural course

DO: Let the relationship take a natural course

Do not force it or manipulate it in any way. When flings are involved, it only means casual sex but still it will take a life of its own. Do not manipulate or change that in any way. Be honest about your expectations and even ask your partner about it. Do not have expectations that are impossible to achieve for you might just end up being disappointed in the end.

DO: Discretion is a must

Always practice this. Don't make your partner feel like he/she is being taken advantage of in any way. Though it is a casual fling, always remember that your partner is still a person thus, he/she still feels. Your partner's feelings matter no matter what. Be honest about how you feel and make sure that you communicate with him/her as frequently as possible. Never go ahead on your own. Always make sure that you both are in the same page.

DO: Always be safe about casual sex

Again, since this is a casual fling, it is extremely important that you are careful with casual sex. Remember that if you and your partner are both not careful then, something unexpected might happen. This is not just your life that you are playing with but also your partner's and your unborn child's. Discuss this with your partner first hand before engaging in any kind of sexual contact. If he/she doesn't want to use protection like condoms then it would be best for you to end it before things get out of hand. Always think that it is for the best.

DON'T: Never become emotionally attached

This is probably one of the hardest things when it comes to flings. We are not robots after all. We all feel and somehow we develop feelings for our partners as time passes by. Managing this act is not easy therefore if you manage it then well done to you. As your fling progresses, it is easy to grow used to being with other people. Remember what and where your relationship is based on and don't assume anything extra into it. A fling is something that is temporary and not something that is for keeps.

DON'T: Do something just because it is expected of you

You are in no way obligated to perform anything that you do not want to get involved in. If you don't want to do a sexual act because it is against your will then don't do it. Nobody can force you to do something that you are not willing to do. Do not be manipulated. If you don't want to continue with the relationship then end it. If you feel that you are already in too deep with the supposed to be casual fling then always remember that you have the option of simply saying no or ending it any time you please.

Remember what and where your relationship is based on and don't assume anything extra into it. A fling is something that is temporary and not something that is for keeps

DON'T: Never ever compare your new lover with your ex

This is a big no-no, not just in casual flings but as well as serious relationships. This is a very bad idea. Comparing two sexual partners is like playing with fire. This takes the fun out of a relationship and it can cause you to never be satisfied with your new partner because he/she can never or doesn't measure up to your ex. Leave the past behind. Learn to be satisfied with your current partner and do not ask for more. Comparing your past with your present will not be good for your current relationship because of many reasons and I am sure this is already a no brainer especially if you know how much such a move can hurt your partner. I am sure you wouldn't want this to happen to you so why do it to your partner?

DON'T: Never assume that you know what your partner is thinking

We all have our own minds to decide for ourselves. Never think that you know what your partner is thinking. Not unless you are a mind reader then that is fine. But then again, assuming that you know what your partner is thinking, only proves how selfish you can be since you only think about yourself and nobody else. If you are not sure whether or not he/she wants to continue with the relationship, then ask him/her. Do not make the decision for yourself. Whether it is a casual fling or not, you cannot have the relationship with just yourself. You need a partner. Therefore, respect his/her feelings and decisions too. Remember that since it is a fling, do not worry about getting too involved. You should always remember that there should be no strings attached. If things aren't really working our for both of you then end it. It would be best to have a mutual decision about it though in order to have a more peaceful ending.

Casual flings are not like relationships in many ways but then again that doesn't mean that they are always easier. One must learn that casual flings can turn serious too and that sometimes even serious relationships can come from casual flings. I know this for a fact as I got married to a man that I was supposed to just have a casual fling with. Things went out of hand but we both wanted it to stir in that direction anyway. I am not saying that casual flings are dead ends. Some of them are not temporary. Some of them might even lead to something more if both parties are willing to go the distance. But if a casual fling is all you want then learn the do's and don'ts of being in one so that you would know what to do just in case you find yourself in one.

zena's picture
Zena Alethea Teofilo

Zena is an online English teacher. She enjoys writing and drawing during her free time. She writes many different articles and stories every day. Some are erotic in nature while others are informative. Writing for this website has opened her to a new world of possibilities. She is happy to share her thoughts and opinions about many things in life. She just hopes that many people are satisfied with her work for she aims to please.