Why Passive Aggression Can Ruin Relationships?

Fri, 04/26/2013 - 02:07 -- zena

Passive Aggression is a famous subject that is much talked about in different articles, studies, TV programs, movies and other media. It is easy to overlook and even cope with this disorder as well with its destructive nature and its impact on people. But there will always be differences in opinions regarding the disorder and how people willingly entertain it or not.

The whole “I love you but I'm scared” doesn't exactly fly with everyone anymore. Whenever an admirer or a suitor says the three words, most women feel relieved and happy about it but hearing him attach the whole I'm scared bit just makes the beautiful words that he uttered first become so negative. Why? Probably because of the but and scared bit. But think about it. Relationships are like roller coaster rides. They can be confusing because they are fun and scary at the same time. Try to not be turned off by it and instead do your best to work positively together to clarify things that confuse your partner in your relationship.

A partner who has already confided about his/her past and has occasionally expressed extreme verbal reactions against the world – which some you could relate to and others you find weird – are actually just ordinary. Everybody has issues. Nobody doesn't have them. But for passive aggressive people, these issues are deeper than that. Always remember that the reasons as to why they are scared of relationships and commitments are more serious than most people which is why as his/her partner, it is up to you to find out about this pattern and also know about these signs to be clearer with them. There are always two options though. Remaining blissfully unaware is one of them. Going with the flow which might soon become repetitive but somewhat happy might be favorable to many as addressing the issue and facing it isn't exactly that easy.

Knowing the roots of passive aggressive behavior is one of the key things that you need to do for your partner. Having passive aggressive behavior can derive from specific childhood situations or even from an environment where he/she found unsafe or uncommon to many normal young children. Through research we have known that many children who have grown with such experiences, did not truly mature fully or had a hard time growing into real adults. Most of them may display childish behavior which can be unavoidable for people like them. If you think you can be patient enough to handle a relationship with someone with passive aggression then be more considerate of your partner.

Most people who suffer from passive aggression are reluctant to show their emotional vulnerability. This is why sending mixed messages by being over affectionate one minute and being ice cold the next is the usual attitude pattern for people who suffer from them. When your partner seems willing to give the world now and then reluctant to even accept that he/she loves you tomorrow then you are with someone with passive aggression. Basically for them, love is a trap that they don't wish to be enclosed in.

People who suffer from passive aggression also might feel like they are inadequate and are always fearful of competition. They are often insecure but never admit it. A passive aggressive person can act as a wimp now and then become an ultimate tyrant later on. Being passive aggressive is a self destructive behavior which is why if you ever want to have a partner who has it, learn to be a helping hand by trying to be more understanding and not judgmental. Passive aggressive people can love you for the same attributes that they hate about you.

Honestly, there are no straightforward answers and making decisions can be personal. This is why some just decide to cut their losses before they even get too emotionally involved as most people are after emotion stability after all. Although those who are more emotionally invested in the relationship, just get stay away. The best way forward would have to be to seek professional help. Encouraging therapy and being prepared to hold and share responsibilities for the good of your relationship are the things that you need to make this work. Remember that passive aggressive people do not have a disadvantage over these things as they are probably more confused about who they are and what makes them tick.

Show compassion for your passive aggressive partner. Anger is usually a driving force while fear is its hidden secret. There is always a child within so as a partner, learn to nurture him/her. This way you will be able to reconcile him/her with the adult they have become. This way a door for a more mature and stronger relationship can finally be open.

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Zena Alethea Teofilo

Zena is an online English teacher. She enjoys writing and drawing during her free time. She writes many different articles and stories every day. Some are erotic in nature while others are informative. Writing for this website has opened her to a new world of possibilities. She is happy to share her thoughts and opinions about many things in life. She just hopes that many people are satisfied with her work for she aims to please.