Relationship Killers: Ghosts Hosts From Your Past

Relationship Killers: Ghosts Hosts From Your Past

Sat, 01/19/2013 - 01:49 -- zena

For most people the holidays seem like a happy time to get along with their families, partners, friends as well as other loved ones but did you know that some actually dread the holidays? Why so? Well, maybe because they dread ever coming across ghosts from their past. Let's face it, dealing with ghosts from your past can be both troubling and more so, painful. It can open old wounds and have old issues resurface as well. If time truly is a great healer then ghosts from your past are great reminders of who and what you were. That is why awakening them all, whether accidentally or intentionally, is definitely unwelcome to many. Why would you intentionally awaken ghosts from your past? Simple. You want closure. But will closure ever be enough? Will closure ever be given without affecting the present? Well, that part you just have to wait and see. If you choose to not awaken them then, running away and hiding from them is the best solution there.

If your intention is to destroy your current relationship, one thing that you can do is to compare your current partner to an ex. Sure, it is a low blow. For a man, it will not just hurt his ego, it will hurt his pride as well. For women, they would think of how inadequate they are and how much of an asshole you are. Either way, it is a sure way to break a person's heart regardless of what gender your partner may be. Partners become insecure too especially if you make them feel like they should doubt themselves. Bringing up an ex to a current relationship in any way is a definite comparison. You know how nobody wants to be compared to anyone. Why do some people do it? Well, sometimes they want to make their partners jealous. Although they know that such a thing could yield to disastrous results, they still get tempted to do it. Comparing someone to someone else will only make them feel like they are lacking. It is like igniting a fire in somebody's insides, making them ask why or what went wrong.

I hate comparison. To me it is a cardinal sin. Unfortunately, I have been compared so many times that I have lost count. I am not just talking about in relationships here. I am also talking about when it comes to being with friends, family and other people as well. In relationships, I think of it this way. The past is the past and there is always a reason why the past remained there. Bringing the past to the present is just not right. You should never, ever tell your partner that you used to have it better. Of course, that would also raise questions like if things were wonderful with your ex then why did you break up or why did you leave? I think it is pointless to wish for something that's already gone. Wishing that you were in your old relationship is just a waste of time. Just because your current relationship isn't working out doesn't mean you should bail out on it right away. Living in the past won't solve anything. The point is you have to decide whether to fix your current relationship or leave.

If you normally treat your partner this way then it is time to stop. Making another person feel worthless isn't something to be proud of. Remember that your ex doesn't have any role in your life now. Bringing him/her up now will only cause you and your current partner problems. During troubled times, do not come running to your ex. Communicating with them and rekindling a friendship wouldn't exactly be forthcoming. It might even lead to suspicions that you are cheating on your current partner. But sometimes exes are out there to get you back. Sometimes for the right reasons and sometimes for the wrong ones. Do not let yourself be vulnerable to that. Despite being supported by your ex, always decline help if you know it doesn't concern him/her. Remember that you cannot keep them both. Sooner or later, you have to choose so you better choose wisely.

Although this is not a common relationship killer, it still strikes when you least expect it. Relationships only have room for two and never more than that. Not unless we are talking about your loved ones who are and will be involved in your relationships. If you ever need to turn somewhere, make sure to just get the help you need from people who won't be able to ruin your relationship. This way you can feel better in a more convenient way.

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Zena Alethea Teofilo

Zena is an online English teacher. She enjoys writing and drawing during her free time. She writes many different articles and stories every day. Some are erotic in nature while others are informative. Writing for this website has opened her to a new world of possibilities. She is happy to share her thoughts and opinions about many things in life. She just hopes that many people are satisfied with her work for she aims to please.