Why can't I bring myself to just blow my husband?!!

Question: 

I feel so useless. So I was determined to take matters into my own hands (mouth?) and just give my hubby a unexpected blowjob. I even made him sit on the couch with me to watch a movie, when I was going to just reach over and do it.

Instead I couldn't, I froze, I just watched the movie, constantly thinking "should I do it now, or wait?" next thing I know the movie is over.

The following day I thought hey maybe I'll surprise him by slipping into some lingerie (I have a few outfits, he has a thing for high heels and stockings, see it that gets him going) and give him a blowjob while he played xbox, I know that's a serious fantasy he had a few years ago.

I couldn't do it, I just sat and browsed the internet on my phone while he sat there, until he got up and started cleaning the kitchen. What is wrong with me?! I know he didn't know, but I feel like I let him down. How do you girls just will up the desire to just blow your guy?! I can't believe how stupid this is, like I'm sitting here typing this out somehow something so simple seems so complicated.

Answer: 

I'm not exactly like you, in the way that I love giving blowjobs. Love it.

But

I do get weird about doing it at not obviously sex-like times. You're allowing yourself to think too much. You're planning too much. Just look at him, think "damn I love this man, and he loves me so much. That dick is mine." and waltz over and unbutton those pants. If he's sitting down, fine. If he's cleaning, fine. If he's eating dinner, fine. I can pretty much guarantee that he won't care, or if he does, he will move to a better spot but be one happy camper. He may not be completely clean, being spontaneous and all, if he isn't, just spit on him, or your hand, and wipe down towards the base a couple times while looking at him smiling then go to town. Enthusiasm is the biggest turn on during a blow job. Not technique, now how you look, not where you are, enthusiasm.

Honestly, it's frame of mind for me. Instead of thinking about the blow job, I think about how great my guy is, the fact he's a good father. The fact he always cares for me, I think of thoughts that get me feeling head over heels about him, thing is I keep those thoughts quiet let them grow.

I had one time where I setup a little test, where I thought "Hey I bet I could ask him to grab me my magazine from the bedroom while he's watching a baseball game, and he would..no questions asked even though he's super into it and it's not a commercial." So I did ask, and he did just do it. Immediately turned on knowing that lots of guys out there would have balked at that or just said get it yourself. I know that sounds silly, but hey I know he shows he loves me through little acts (he's a trucker, so he isn't too big on words).

After I get even a bit turned on, I work with it, start thinking of more things I love about him. Pretty soon for me the want, becomes almost a need to pleasure him.

Honestly try to start with getting yourself turned on, even a little bit...then see how it goes! Good luck!! And thanks for updates!

amber's picture
Amber Hoffman

I am writer and editor at Bedroom Stories online magazine, writing about sexual relationships and better understanding our lives. Feel free to contact me at [email protected]

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