Do men know the difference between the clitoris and clitorishood? Do you guys find the clitoris disgusting? Do you other women stimulate your clitoris directly or "through" the hood?

Question: 

I have a little issue with my clitoris. And even though I'm 25 years, I feel really self-conscious about this. My clitoris is most of the time covered with the hood and that's why it is very very sensitive. If you touch directly it, it's not pleasant but painful. So anyways I have always masturbated just by rubbing my clitoris hood and not really even thought about that that I could touch directly my clitoris.

I have never cummed in cunnilingus and I have started to wonder if it's cause my clitoris hood isn't sensitive enough and my man is only sucking and licking the hood. I have now little by little started to try to touch my clitoris, it's still little difficult a) cause it's so little you have to make an effort to get it "up" b) it's still really sensitive and I have to use a lot of lubricant. If I do a wrong move with it, it really hurts and it feels like the hood kinda would go too far or something and I can't get my clitoris covered right away again.

Anyways, I have started to get some enjoyment out of this and would like to continue this exploring with my man but here's the problem. My ex once like really spread my lips and then my clitoris also "popped" up from under the hood. I guess he hadn't seen the clitoris before and had always thought that the clitoris hood is the clitoris, and he said "Yuck, that tiny button looks disgusting, what is that???". i felt obviously really shamed about it and felt like there was seriously something wrong with me. And after that I've been really careful not letting the guys like really spread my vagina.

So I have made some research and as far as I can know, my clitoris is totally normal after all. It's little, shiny and bright red etc. But I can't help but thinking my ex's reaction and I'm worried that men don't wanna or can't deal with clitoris cause it's something disgusting popping like that in the middle of the hood. So please help me guys and girls with this issue and tell me how it really is. So maybe I could get rid of this issue and be able to ask my new man explore my clitoris with me :)

Answer: 

Here's the deal, from an old shit who has been around:

Young guys can be rude, often because they simply don't know better. Hopefully that guy will learn his lesson and grow a little.

Your clit problem is your own problem, no one elses. It's your job to get to know your body, and what it takes to bring yourself pleasure. I know this is hard for many women because they are taught "it's dirty down there" etc and many females never masturbate enough to learn all about themselves because of it.

But again, it's your problem and not a guys. Ofc it'd be nice if the guy was a nice, helpful, understanding type who would gently help you discover this stuff, but please don't put all the burden on him. He has to be trained how to please you because every woman is different. As you've noticed yourself, some women like direct clitoral stimulation, for others that is too sensitive and they like to be stimulated on the hood of the clit or around the edges.

About that guy being grossed out... shit happens. You're going to meet all types over the years. Some guys are going to be grossed out at any little thing, other types of guys are rarely grossed out by anything. Some guys are rude, some mean, and some nice and understanding and go to great lengths to make you comfortable, because sex can be "getting down and dirty", "rude and crude", "getting your freak on" etc. Everyone likes something different. No one type of person will love everything.

When it comes to vulvas and clits etc, some guys like "innies", some like "outties" some like tiny clits, some like large clits, some like anything and everything vulva and clit-wise. Some guys like a woman who spurts a little, or a lot, some hate getting wet. Some guys like a womans parts to smell "like a woman" IE natural, others want the same parts to smell like flowers... everyone is different. You can't please everyone, so you gotta please yourself as the old song says.

So learn to please yourself, and how to instruct others to please you, and over time you'll learn and grow a lot. You'll learn what kind of guy is best for you, and hopefully you'll meet one worth being your mate.

GL.

jcartwright's picture
James Cartwright

Just like to write about sex and relationships!

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