Never Let The Flame Die

Tue, 01/24/2012 - 09:25 -- amber

Have you been feeling lately like your sex life is not as passionate as it used to be? Then do something about it.

If you are a woman who has committed herself to a long-term relationship, then you might just be missing those lustful, really hot initial days during which you were barely getting to know your partner, and sex was torrid and fantastic.

Since then a lot of things have happened: you now know each other's bodies, you have grown into each other's likes and dislikes, you've shared a great deal and perhaps have replaced some bits of wild excitement with equally satisfying bits of gentle comprehension.

But even if you've progressed emotionally as a couple, you can't leave aside the wonderful experience that means to copulate. That's right, you got to talk about intercourse directly and make sure you still enjoy it quite often and that it still results quite pleasant. You may think it's a basic need, almost an instinct, to have sex, but - precisely because it is such a primary activity - it is key into keeping the relationship alive.

We are not talking about volcanic sex every single night. There is not a couple on earth who has been together for a significant number of months and still manages to give each other wall-trembling orgasms each day. Sometimes, especially if you have moved together, the demands of work, domestic occupations, or worries about life in general will make it impossible on a particular night to have sex – but even then you should say goodnight with a sexy kiss rather than with an insipid wave.

Details can matter a lot in the subtle mental process of keeping sexual desire alive for the relationship, and here are some things that might come in useful:

  • Turn him on anytime of day: If you are making breakfast in the kitchen, entice him briefly with a small caress in a place where you know he can't resist to get aroused. Hid a dirty note inside his suitcase one day, one that will make sure he blushes in front of his coworkers. Or take advantage of technology: send a mail or a Facebook message to his phone, telling him you want him to bang you hard all night (the word choice it's really yours, don't listen to our clichés!) – and even if that don't actually happens, you'll leave him wanting to make love to you at the nearest opportunity.

  • Rent some XXX videos: There are some women who can get visually excited, although with less frequency than men. But even if you don't enjoy watching hot clips on your own, the feeling of watching porn along with your partner is quite different, and really excitements. Loads of women end up really turning on not only because the scenes can spice up your own sex moves, but also because your partner might get more creative and vigorous during the process.

  • Make some time for it: This one can seem really obvious, but women and men tend to forget about it because their work-life can be too consuming. Even if you are really wanting to get laid, and have managed to turn on your partner until he feels like a stallion, good sex takes time and you don't want to go improvising, since rushed-in action tends to be frustrating for both parts. A “quicky” is something that might work in the firsts days of a relationship, just out of poor passion, but it hurts your sex life when you are sharing it with long-term views and you want to keep up the satisfaction.

Amber Hoffman

I am writer and editor at Bedroom Stories online magazine, writing about sexual relationships and better understanding our lives. Feel free to contact me at [email protected]

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