Doubt Your Dick, Listen to Your Heart

Mon, 08/20/2012 - 18:20 -- kylerichtig

Have you had difficulty finding love even though you can regularly find sexual partners? While it is likely you are the reason, and not everyone else, this does not mean that you are deficient. What it may mean is that you have been looking in the wrong direction for love.

What are you looking for?

Is there something different with the woman you are looking for and the women you are sleeping with. If you find that the women you are sleeping with are not measuring up to what you are looking for, it may be time to make a list of what you want. Leave physical attributes off of the list. Are you looking for kindness, understanding, or acceptance? Measure these attributes against those you have dated to see where the missing pieces are.

What have you found?

Make a list of the women you have dated, and detail what it was that attracted you to them. At this point include physical attributes of the women. You may find that in your selection process, you have focused more on the esthetic than you have on the actual woman. When your list is complete, highlight any words that have repeated over the course of the women. This will indicate your dating pattern.

Evaluating yourself

Are your own actions the road to ruin? Is your reputation as a player holding you back from the women who will see you as a viable long-term partner? Really examine what you may be doing to deter your perfect woman from you. Ask non-sexually linked female friends for advice. They may help you to understand that the woman you are looking for would not like to receive crotchless panties on a first date.

How to move forward

Moving forward in your pursuit of a partner is dependent on your ability to have realistic expectations. Have you found that the women you have been dating fit your esthetic of beauty, but their personalities are lacking? Leave your esthetic needs at the wayside for at least one month while making your changeover. Start to see past the patterns that have held you back so far. If meeting people is an issue, try a personals service that can help to match you to what you are looking for regardless of physical beauty.

Explore women for what you are looking for emotionally in a partner. You may find that your sexual connection grows with the person that fulfills your emotional needs easier than it is for an esthetic beauty to grow in your emotional esteem.

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Kyle Richtig

Kyle Richtig is a Canadian writer of foundry pushing poetry and fiction. He is certified in personality assessment and sees sex as an endless buffet of options. Check out more about his projects at