Body Language on a First Date

Wed, 06/27/2012 - 00:09 -- jcartwright

So, what you say says a few things about you. What you wear and eat and where you live and work say a few things about you. As it turns out, your body says a few things about you too. In fact, on a first date body language is more important than what you say. People are still trying to figure you out the first couple times you meet, and they’re much less likely to simply take what you say on face value. In fact a date is on the constant look out for your body language. His hands are moving too fast; is he nervous? Her eyes are flitting too much; is she bored? Yes, probably to both. A few tips on controlling your unruly body on a first date.

Windows to the Soul

Eyes say a lot about people. Eyes do a lot for people too. Not just seeing things, but actually, don’t be too surprised, eyes help you strengthen a relationship just like a kind word or a valiant act! Looking a person deeply into the eyes is one of the most communicative and bonding acts that you can perform. Having someone you love do this to you is a profound and almost spiritual experience. So spend your first date staring deeply into each other’s eyes? Well go ahead if you’re aiming for creep factor nine. You don’t just stare into the eyes of a stranger and create deep and meaningful bonding. Sorry, doesn’t work like that. Preserve a respectful amount of eye contact and once in a while let your gaze linger a moment, but otherwise no. Don’t treat someone you just met like your soul mate.

It’s all in the Hands

Right up there with the eyes are the hands. Your hands are even more prominent than your eyes even. Nearly everything you do requires hand motion and your date will be watching. The first thing to avoid it moving them too fast and brusquely, as though you were impatient or nervous; this is easy to control and you need not worry about it if you keep it in mind. A more dangerous possibility is that you be too aggressive with your hands when you are nervous. Don’t make anyone duck under the table to avoid one of your explosive gestures as you try to illustrate some point. The basic rule is: if your hands are calm, cool and collected, you are calm, cool and collected.

And one last Thing

Don’t nod too much. Whenever I see people doing this it makes me cringe. Few things are more awkward than trying to have a conversation with someone and they nod at every other word, as you imagine people might have done while they were listening to the Sermon on the Mount. If you agree with something, or you think it well said a little nod of recognition is nice. Too much, however, makes you seem dishonest and it’s a quick way to get a person to clam up.

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James Cartwright

Just like to write about sex and relationships!