A Few Tips for Conversation on a First Date

Sat, 05/19/2012 - 21:00 -- jcartwright

The conversation is always the deal breaker. Book a table at the finest restaurant in town and spring for a wine they have to go to the cellar to get, nice things to do sure. But don’t forget the essential.

A conversation full of awkward pauses and flat comments will make for a bad date no matter where you are, be it some swanky Iron Chef’s creation or McDonald’s. The way you talk will make or break your date. So take the time to remember the following things before you open your mouth.

Take an Interest

Actually care when you ask a question. Don’t ask a bunch of questions that seem nice, just to seem nice and be polite. Ask questions you really want to hear the answers to. People can tell when you’re not being genuine and no one likes it. Most people, it bothers the hell out of them. Her especially. You’re out on a date; the least you could do is not insult her intelligence.

Don’t Monopolize the Conversation

This may seem obvious. To some however, not so much it would appear. Some men have the idea, for whatever reason, be it they’re bad at asking questions or they don’t know what else to do, that good conversation equals constant talk… even if they do all the talking. It’s great to expand on a topic if she seems interested or even if you’re really interested, as long as you keep it short. But don’t keep talking about your favourite ball team the whole time just because you’re afraid of tossing the ball into her court once in a while. So maybe there will be one or two silences. It’s better than having a date with yourself.

Don’t Let her Talk too much either…

In somewhat the same way, by careful not to let your date do all the talking either. Some of us are natural listeners and naturally we do less of the talking, but you have to do your share once in a while. This mistake goes with the one just above it. Just like some people just talk to keep the conversation going, some people think they’re doing all they need to do just listening. In reality, most conversations aren’t like that. Somebody is talking to you and they would surely be interested to hear your thoughts. So listen well, but talk a little too.

Risk a Little

This is something that people often miss. They focus too much on being polite and well-mannered and come off as a little stiff. It’s not enough to do everything like it should be done, say all the right things at all the right times. The final touch is a little spontaneity. Do something a little kooky, say something a little off—no need to offend or shock, but something that she realizes is a little outside the standard. Nothing ventured, nothing gained. In short, don’t be so focused on giving the perfect performance that you’re afraid to be free and natural.

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James Cartwright

Just like to write about sex and relationships!