Orgasms and antidepressants

Tue, 03/15/2011 - 21:30 -- Miles

Depression is one of the most diagnosed mental disorders on the market. There is dysthymic disorder, major depressive disorder, and seasonal affect disorder. Even if a person doesn’t have any of these flavors or depression there is still just normal depression that everyone gets from time to time. Hell, even I have had major depressive disorder for a decade or two (no, I’m not a creepy old guy sitting at his computer. I’m a 23 year old male).

Many people over the years have told me that depression is all in the head and a person should just get over it. I used to think that this was true as well, until I finally got out of high school and started getting an education in the career that I wanted: clinical psychology. After four years of studying and slamming my face into walls I learned that the big depressive disorders (the ones that people will give you drugs for) are actually a result of either an inability to produce or absorb certain chemicals: Serotonin, epinephrine, norepinephrine, and others that we don’t quite understand yet.

I found out years after the fact that the depression that I have is caused by being hit in the head with a shovel when I was a year and a half old. It may be a more dramatic/hilarious reason for depression, but the end effect was the same. Over the years the best analogy and defense for people with depression is that depression is similar to diabetes. Granted that it won’t kill you, it is caused by an imbalance of chemicals in the body and cannot be simply willed away. Believe me, I have tried. On a side note, alcohol won’t cure it either. I have done extensive testing on this subject.

Anyway, back to the point. There are many reasons why depression can effect orgasms and the… availability of them. The most obvious way that it effects the normal human experience of orgasms is by making a person not interested in them. To give an example: me in high school. High school is supposed to be a time in a young man’s life where he is overtaken with desire, love, and purely retarded lust that can cause a person to light themselves on fire just to impress the other gender (don’t ask). For me, the average male with depression, high school was filled with playing dungeons and dragons, farting around with my guitar, and hating myself with every muscle in my body. While every friend that I had was learning to talk to and make love to woman I was sitting at home playing video games.

This retarded mode of thinking (retarded in a technical term this time) didn’t just make me boring in high school, but also put me years behind the sex game. When I finally decided to get a girlfriend and be normal I had no idea what to do. First off, I never learned how to talk to women. Second off, it is very awkward to be standing in a girl’s room with my pants down and literally not know what to do.

This tragic tale is actually not the worst of it. When I finally figured out that the belly button was not designed for what I thought it was for everything when smoothly. Not only did it feel great but I discovered that I can last quite a while in bed. Now fast forward to present day. I have a girlfriend, good friends, and little happy pills that I take every day that let my body actually use the chemicals I talked about earlier. I can also now spend hours having sex nonstop. While it may seem like everything worked out just fine there is a little side note that must be mentioned:

Even after hours of sex I still cannot orgasm.

Yes folks, while the little pills I take make me feel better they also have a little mentioned side effect called anhedonia. Now, hedonism is the indulgence in the pleasurable. The Latin prefix ‘an-’ essentially mean the opposite. That’s right, the drug that finally fixes the age old problem of depression also causes an inability to orgasm.

Many people tell me “well its ok if your sex life is lacking, right? You’re taking happy pills.” I wish that this was correct, even if just for the 1 in 10 people who have depression chronically. While the happy pills make it so people are no longer constantly miserable, that doesn’t mean that they can’t miss the feeling of an orgasm or feel miserable when their partner is sad because they cannot make the person in question orgasm. Also, as a side note: honey, if you are reading this, don’t kill me.

“So what is left to do” some people might ask. Well, there are always different medications to try, there are certain things that someone can do to increase the number of their orgasms, there are even exercises that a person can do to increase the potency of their orgasms. I’m not going to list the separate things that a person can do here simply for the fact that google is far faster at getting these answers than it would take me to type them.

The most important thing that a person can do if they know that they have issues orgasming, no matter the reason, is tell their partner. There is nothing more confusing in the world than giving your lover all you have for over an hour and then just having them stare up at you blankly and say “eh, it’s ok hun. You can stop”.

I have personally found a good solution to this problem. While I have a problem orgasming, my partner does not. I gain massive amounts of pleasure from watching my girlfriend moan and writhe. It is quite amazing how quickly and how hard you can make your partner orgasm when you go into sex not even planning to reach climax. Focusing on making your partner feel amazing is one of the most rewarding things that you can do, try it at least once. I’m sure that after the first time your lover is lying on the bed exhausted and nearly unconscious you will be extremely happy with the results.

Also hun, if you are reading this: I will be home early tonight.

~Miles Page