3 Mistakes a Woman Can Make in Bed

Mon, 01/30/2012 - 22:05 -- amber

Not so long ago we talked about his misdeeds as a lover; now it's time for you to learn some female counterparts.

Up to the very last decades, women tend to read very little on the matter of their sexuality –and there was a clear reason for it, no female sex literature was available at all! But now there's no room for excuses: you got to be as familiar as you can with the best ways to drive your man crazy. It's not a matter of knowing the Kama Sutra by hard, of course; good sex is not about a rigid memory as it is about practice and information, so make sure you know the basic theory and always learn from the feedback your partner can give in bed.

A key part in to learning those basics you indeed can get from books or articles, is to know which sexual practices are 100% bound to disappoint your lover. Here we make an overview of five specific ones that we consider crucial.

Don't be reserved about touching him

You can read everywhere that women need a great deal of caressing and enticing strokes all over their bodies to really start enjoying sex. Well, you probably agree with this as woman, but here's something that might surprise you: he also wishes to be caressed. Ok, a few men do think it's all about the penis and don't expect you to explore beyond it, but they don't know what they are missing, and will certainly be grateful once you've introduced them to male foreplay. Most men do know that if you go around touching more than their genitals -leaving your sexy marks all across their skin- they will experience harder, longer-lasting erections and amazing orgasms. Sex is also mental to men and if you work hard to have good communication with him you can set him in the best mood for action.

Don't ask him to get inside your mind

It doesn't matter how much he loves you… unless he's some kind of medical phenomenon, he simply can't read your mind. If there is something about the time you spend together in bed, you need to tell him so you can both work it out. If he has, for instance, never given you oral sex and you are dying to try cunnilingus, then just say so! If you're really in that part of the relationship where you have frequent sex, chances are he'll most surely receive the information as an exciting tip: men enjoy pleasing women (even if sometimes there's something of their own ego involved in the process).

Don't mind too much about your body

There are some health guidelines you should follow to make sure you have a good life. A balanced diet and exercise are part of that; having a “perfectly” shaped body is not. If you get started with sex thinking just this week you have gained a couple extra pounds, and worrying that he'll notice, you have it all wrong. In a sexual interchange the visual is quite secondary – it's about what you can feel, think, experience. Men might notice something outside bed (probably very different from the ones you care about) but sex is something much more intimate. It's about thrust, and losing yourselves into each other, so your body appearance is the least important thing on earth during those moments. The same is true for other bodily issues: will my breasts look bad if I get on top of him? There you have an example of a thought that might ruin the whole thing, and quite unnecessarily, because he'll actually think they are the most fabulous things in the world.

Amber Hoffman

I am writer and editor at Bedroom Stories online magazine, writing about sexual relationships and better understanding our lives. Feel free to contact me at [email protected]