It’s time we talked about talking. Conversation is constant and it’s everywhere; there is no escaping it. We talk to everyone. And since a woman is someone, chances are you’ve talked to one.
Maybe it was success! Maybe you hit it out of the field, a bases-loaded Babe Ruth swing! Or maybe not so much… Most of us aren’t born talkers. Most of us fumble once in a while; we drop the ball or don’t complete the pass, score a touchdown but miss the kick. But there’s good news. Most of us can learn to talk. So, today, we’ll be having a crash course in: What to say and what not to say.
Don’t tell her she’s not wanted. Never tell a lady there are times when you’d rather not have her around. This rule has to be remembered when you’re looking to hang out with your friends, period dot. Spin it a little, there’s no need for anyone’s feelings to be hurt. Don’t offer her the option, first. If she really wants to come she’ll ask if she can come. If you offer she might just go and be bored only to be polite, and that wasn’t what anybody wanted. Rather, try assuming that she’s not interested. Another subtle trick that is to us a gender specific noun, like “I’m going out with the guys.” Or the boys or my bro or whatever; this is a polite tip that your plans as well were intended to be gender specific. She’ll pick up on the hint.
Books could be written. But books can also be summarized in one paragraph. The lesson is this: jealousy is not sexy. You may be asking yourself why she spends so much time with Jake. You may be helluva curious. It doesn’t matter. When you ask a question like: So what exactly is it between you and him? All she thinks is insecure. Asking this question won’t help you no matter what the answer is. Focus on you. It’s your game that counts.
It’s not that bad
You’re going to have to get over telling her to get over it. It will never work. She doesn’t want to hear that you think she needs to pull herself together. What you’re saying then is “I’m really not that interested, so deal with it.” If she has cramps, don’t tell her to get over it. Offer her a drink. If she didn’t get a job or had a fight with someone, don’t say “Suck it up”. Make her dinner. In short, the answer is not to tell her you think the problem is with her. Your job isn’t to accuse. You’re there to support her and to help her out.
Don’t make them. Not unless they are highly flattering. And even then, it’s probably better not to make them. Don’t ever compare her to her mom; don’t say she carries herself like Helen Mirren, even if she does. This is just territory that’s too risky. If you want to make a compliment, make a compliment; there’s no need for references. If you have just a comparison, best to keep it to yourself.
Why didn’t you call me back?
Play it cool. As far as you’re concerned you never called/messaged her. Some of us seem to be afflicted with “puppy dog” syndrome. To those of us who think it’s cute to be needy: it isn’t, it never was and no, it’s not likely to become sexy anytime soon. It’s better for you to have a bruised ego than for her to think your some desperate sad-sack.