Friends With Benefits

Wed, 08/01/2012 - 01:10 -- amber

I have noticed that lately the number of couples in serious relationships are dwindling. The number of divorcees continue to rise as the concept of marriages continue to diminish. Welcome to the modern world! Welcome to reality! These days, it is easier to be detached than to be attached. Most single people believe that being in a relationship not only hinders one from doing everything he/she wants in life but it also affects a person's way of developing new friendships with other people. This is why many opt for a less complicated set up. How can a woman and a man be just friends? Have you ever wondered what it would be like to have friends with benefits? I am sure even if you do not admit it, you know deep down inside you have been curious about it.

I am a bit conventional when it comes to relationships. Marriage is sacred for me and therefore, divorce is taboo. However, I am not closed minded therefore, I am open to new ideas and new things. Due to our modern set up, many things have changed. More than 7 out of 10 of my friends are in so called odd relationships. Odd due to the fact that they do not really have a relationship with anyone and yet they get a lot of monogamous sex from someone they call their friend. It is hard to understand such a situation but to them, nothing should be taken seriously. Personal feelings should be set aside. Sexual drives and tendencies should be the only reason and driving force behind their so called unconventional relationships.

Curious about what was happening, I knew I had to ask how it works and if any of them has ever experienced something more. Almost all of them said yes. True enough, we are people after all and our heart will betray us even if our words do not. Many of them suddenly developed love for their "sex buddies" and realized that there might be more to their strange set up than what they hoped for. Although some get their happy endings since their partners feel the same for them, there are some who do not get anything else out of it. Some end up being confused because they are not ready to settle while others are rejected by their sexual partners only because they too also do not want to be attached. Relationships have never been more complicated.

A man and a woman can be friends but only to some extent. It is no surprise that some men and women who end up being friends make sure they just stay that way. For friends to end up being sex buddies and then be in a relationship is just wrong. I don't think I will ever be able to live with myself if I ever experienced being in one. I am not a promiscuous woman and I am not a huge fan of one night stands. Although I am a serial monogamist, I cannot admit to ever having sex buddies. I do not want to be a hypocrite and tell everyone that I have never wondered what it is like because I know I would be lying if I did. The act of being in even more complicated relationships only dumbfounds me however, I do not want to judge those who have done it.

Sex buddies or not, one must remember that at some point, the game has to end. We do not get any younger every day and because of that, we should learn to settle down in the end. Whether it is in a relationship or in a marriage, it does not matter. A stable partnership is said to help people have a balanced life. For those who are young, wild and free, there is nothing wrong with expressing one's sexuality. The possibilities are never limitless instead they are endless. The idea of having many friends with benefits might be alluring to you but bear in mind that such an arrangement can be dangerous too. So before you ever decide to be in one, be prepared.

Amber Hoffman

I am writer and editor at Bedroom Stories online magazine, writing about sexual relationships and better understanding our lives. Feel free to contact me at [email protected]